November 23, 2008

• God is good. 

  I realize that sometimes, I have a terrible memory.  On top of that, I am a very terrible (by terrible, I mean huge) liar.  And on top of that, I am very good at avoiding the issue.  I am reclusive, selfish, and extremely insensitive.   

  Recipe for a nightmare relationship, right?

  I realized that I really haven't been treating God the way I should.  I saw this through a personal experience and it was quite eye-opening.  It wasn't on any level even approximately close to divine, but it did the job.  Apparently, this method works well since He seems to pull it out quite often.  Darn. 

  I have a terrible memory because I often forget how good He is.  I forget what He is capable of.  I forget Who it is I am working for and why it is I fell in love with Him to begin with.  I am a huge liar because I claim to believe Him, trust Him, and follow Him when I am actually constantly doubting him by my actions.  I have safety nets which have become my permanent wrappings, second-guesses which are no longer just secondary, disappointments which have become accepted standards. 

  I not only forgot what I have but have become quite comfortable in my forgetfulness.  I have become reclusive from him.  Selfish of my own time.  Insensitive of a God who I promised my life to and then hastily snatched up what I could grab.  I asked for revival and could not follow through.  I thought my own weaknesses were more powerful than His grace.

  I thought my own weaknesses were more powerful than His grace.  Did you get that?  I thought. 

  And He proved me wrong.  As He always does.  If it weren't for who He was I'd think He is one who derived personal pleasure from proving me wrong.  I am, however, unspeakably grateful for this. 

  God is powerful.  He is able.  He does not need your help.  He did not need mine. 

  "I have no need of a bull from your stall or of goats from your pens,
  for every animal of the forest is mine, and the cattle on a thousand hills. (Including this little cow!)
  I know every bird in the mountains, and the creatures of the field are mine.

  If I were hungry I would not tell you, for the world is mine, and all that is in it. (Have I thought I had to feed Him?)
  Do I eat the flesh of bulls or drink the blood of goats?

  Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High,
  and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me."  (Thank you Lord. My heart overflows.)

  Psalm 50
  

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