November 25, 2012

• I’m really not much into customs and traditions. My inner rebel cringes agasint ordained times for things that should be freely given and thought about year-round. With that said, I’m a sucker for excuses to demonstrate gratitude, appreciation, and love. If I were not to be mocked for it, I’d probably be a lot more demonstrative about my thankfulness for the loved ones in my life and a little sappy about birthdays and anniversaries. The case is that I got mocked for it, and I stopped. True story.

  It’s also the case though that I like reflecting on the passage of time, and I try to do that often,and birthdays are good markers that remind me to appreciate what I have. What facilitates my abandon for tradition is my disinterest in remembering dates and figures… this is perhaps something I can work on. 

  The months between this Thanksgiving and last were momentous ones. The ones between that and the Thanksgiving previous were impactful as well. They’ve held many moments of confusion, hurt, pain, and broken heartedness. They’ve also held moments of great joy, peace, love, and growth. I am profoundly changed following those months, and I will carry the lessons I’ve learned for the rest of my life. Many of these moments are monuments around which time and dates will revolve around. 

  So in the spirit of tradition and nonconformity, this is a post of thanksgiving. This isn’t meant to be a ‘mass post’ to thank everyone that’s touched my life (I scorn mass texting/messaging/emailing, and I suspect (hope?) that that particular kind of messaging is on its way out (maybe not for emails…) I’m also trying to be careful about remembering the weight of gratitude and demonstrations of appreciation. 

  There’s a quote that I read recently and it continues to resonate in my heart: ”But when we love someone, we want to be with them, and we view their love for us with great honor even if they are not a person of great rank. For this reason–and not because of our great rank–God values our love. So much, in fact, that He suffered greatly on our behalf.” It was written by John Chrysostom, and it was during a time when I was also reading Abraham Heschel’s books (God in Search of Man and Man is Not Alone.)

  We spend a lot of time encouraging gratitude to God and adoration to Him, and rightly so. But is it out of place to believe that God appreciates me (you), too? That is values me (you)? I hesitate to use the pronoun ‘us’ because the feeling I am trying to talk about is much more personal. Love is personal. Individual. And I am learning that love can see past all the hurt and pain and faults in another. That is can be indiscriminating. That it can be awesome in its warmth, especially when it is shared. And the Lord of the universe, perhaps He is warmed by my (your) love to Him. Perhaps He so craves it that He was willing to suffer greatly for it. 

  Love suffers long. I am grateful for this kind of love. This season, it is not only people, and divine things, and monuments of time that I am grateful for. It is for love. I am grateful for love. I want to strive to love even more freely, more passionately, more boldly. I want to be less discriminating, fearful, and defensive about it. And I am realizing that with that comes the need to forgive, empathize, and trust ever the more deeper and fuller. 

  This is an impossible task at times, and most times one that is not even desired. But if others are valued by God, should I not as well?

   

  

  Happiness is being appreciated, simply.

  • 8:46 pm
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