December 2, 2012

• Obedience

  Before I went to bed last night, I had a conversation with myself. Except I had a hard time getting through since my old man was having a temper tantrum. 

  By “old man” I don’t mean my dad. I don’t mean God either, since I don’t refer to Him as such, nor would He be prone to tantrums. I mean that old man. The one in each one of us. Some refer to him as the “mean wolf” (or dog, the one you feed if you want your character to become worse.) 

  I was trying to tell myself to get back on track, and then I started to think about obedience. Obedience to God. 

  The Bible urges us to be obedient. To know what it is to have a master and to not only know what the instructions are, but to be willingly compliant. Not as slaves, but as free people, in bondage to Him because the only other choice is to be in bondage to self, and we are never as good to ourselves as we think we are. 

  Jesus was obedient. Even to the cross, where He went not because that was how things were supposed to be, but because He knew what it meant practically when He said, “Nevertheless, Your will, not mine.” 

  And sometimes the instructions are clear even when the circumstance isn’t. Even when I don’t understand. Even when–or, especially when–I’m discouraged and feeling like I’m at the end of my rope. So what can I do in obedience right now?

  Huh?

  This is where the temper tantrum began and the conversation stopped becoming coherent. Because each of the next statements were followed up by: 

  But I don’t WANT to!!!!

  Well, at least I was being honest with myself. Hey, it took me a while to understand how to cut through the excuses to the heart of the matter and there it always is: I don’t want to. It’s not even that it’s too hard, or that it’s boring or stupid. OK, maybe it’s a little hard. Maybe readjusting my habits once more is going to be a little difficult. But I’ve certainly done it before with a lot less of a fight. And maybe sometimes I think it’s boring, and even stupid, irreligious, or oh-that-magical-word, legalistic. 

  It’s much easier, let’s say, to forego the tedious stuff and lose oneself in any number of unprofitable activities. And I’ve seen these “unprofitable” activities (even the harmless ones) hinder a person’s walk in peace. Much easier to be easy on oneself than to be disciplined. And what more is spiritual discipline than to keep oneself in check, stemming the tides of various shades of temptation and staying on the strait and narrow (that was not spelled incorrectly)? Is discipline supposed to be  hard? Is being educated by God supposed to be easy? Can’t we have access to those lesson plans?

  When questions come, when trials, when disappointments and discouragement… when people disappoint and when prayers go unanswered… will obedience stand? Is it become too out of fashion to look for the leading of the Holy Spirit and to be diligent in following? Is it too liberal or too conservative to obey and love? Is what our own choices have to offer that much more appealing? Are we freer? 

  Somewhere deep inside, there is a want. It’s sometimes drowned out by lazy weekend days, or stressful weekday nights. It competes with new movie releases, or a new app on the smartphone. It is often silenced by the louder voice of need, or want, or desire. But it’s there. The still, small voice. The wind in the trees. It’s a promise. It’s a hope. It’s a reminder that this world is not our home, and it’s a question of whether or not we believe it, and the One who is telling us how it really is. 

   

  

   

   

   

  • 6:59 pm
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