August 12, 2009

  • Missing the Missing

    I haven't had a teachermare yet.  

    Not that I miss them...  they were quite perturbing when they struck.  And if I remember correctly, last year I started having them two weeks before school started.  
    It's less then two days until registration.  And I've got nothing.  
    Maybe I do miss them.  They're not fun, but at least they were somewhat routine.  And they usually ended well--at least with some sort of affirmation of my ability to control my classroom.  No matter what crazy situations I would cook up, in the end, my dreams ended with me thinking: "Ah, well, it'll be ok."  
    This year, I've got too much to prepare for, and too little motivation to do it.  I miss the "it'll be ok" dreams.  I need my kids to motivate me.  They're not around right now and I'm suffering for it.  I'd have them invade my dreams anytime if that's what it takes. 
    I'm achy.  And tired.  And a little wary about the future.  This is unusual.  Disconcerting.  But...  it'll be ok.  Even if this isn't happening in the safety of my dreams.  Plus, revival is still in the air...  
    ...and in the end, that is all that really matters...

Comments (4)

  • I've been away from Xanga for a couple of days and decided to check out my subscriptions tonight -- yours is the first one I read and I'm so glad that I did. I am feeling exactly the same way but haven't been able to put it into words -- this disconcerting, unmotivated -- or perhaps 'mis'motivated at the moment -- feeling. I pray that God instills in me a desire to reconnect with colleagues when we convene on Friday and a desire to do the mental/paper prep-work during the next few days so that I truly embrace and welcome each student who walks into my classroom later next week. Praying with you.

  • I haven't had any teachermares yet either! 'Tis a strange feeling. Maybe it's because we are becoming more 'veteran' teachers? I hope this school year goes well for you!

  • @LaurieLH - It's comforting to know that there are others out there who share these experiences...  my greatest moments of peace (and breakthroughs) happened because of prayer.  I am so convinced that this is the one biggest element we have going for us: His divine aid.  It'll pull through.  The kids start coming tomorrow.  It's exciting.  

  • @espoir - no teachermares for you either?!  I'm almost relieved, but it's still strange.  I was expecting one for so long.  Even now, I'm wondering, will tonight be the night?  It's cutting it close; the kids'll be here tomorrow.  Maybe it

    is

     because we're becoming "vets"?  That's almost scarier.  I do admit, things are a LOT easier to plan.  If only things wouldn't keep

    changing

    on me.  Like my schedule.  And the school schedule.  And a whole load of others.  

    I hope this year goes well for you too.  I know things'll be hard for you, and I'm going to be praying for you.  The kids'll make things better...  

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