November 14, 2009

  • Please Don't Read This Post

    Something smells like fire... and it might be my desire to live.

    No, it's not that bad. But I have to admit that I am tired. Exhausted, really. Cranky (that could be attributable to PMS, which is highly likely since "America the Beautiful" played on the organ almost made me cry today... as did an episode of Glee a few days ago when a cranky gym teacher is found to have a sister with special needs. Don't tell anyone, though. Tears are weakness.) I woke up late for work one morning and didn't feel an ounce bad about it.

    ...OK, maybe I felt, like, 4 ounces bad about it, but that didn't keep me from laughing about it and secretly being grateful for being able to "sleep in." I usually love going in to work. I've been sleep-deprived, partially because I'm up talking to graduates who want to "fill me in" on their knife-selling business at 10:45 at night. For 45 minutes.

    I called out a student in class this week. I mean, called him OUT. Worst of all, WITH the intention of shutting him down and making him feel bad. For record, I have NEVER done that in the past... I was in control of myself, but I was definitely not holding myself back. I am trying to convince myself that I don't believe he deserved it. I am still now working on repentance... he SO deserved it though....... the carnal beast in me is taking FOREVER to die on this one. He's a rough one, though, even the students agree. Unusual case, maybe?

    My patience is on... I am mixing up my metaphors here because I want to say "a shoestring," but I'm certain that's not the word. Ida is on the loose (the hurricane, not a student, or a rabid dog) which made this week really oppressive, which made my students that much more needy, which made them call out my name at LEAST (I mean it!) 5x more than normal. Which can explain why I'm going crazy.

    Either all of the above is true, and happening at the same time, or... I'm burning out.

    I'd much prefer the former option, even with all its necessary coincidences. I'm pretty certain I'm PMSing. Augh, the shackles of womanhood. Can I sell my uterus? Anyone? Anyone? Aaaaanyone?

    In the midst of all this chaos, there is one constant. By now, ya'll should know what that is. (See? I used the word "ya'll." Do you have any OTHER explanation for this behavior?! And I'm shouting! Ranting, really. As much as I can in print, anyway. Somehow it's.... almost... as effective as the real vocalizations. Much quieter. Which brings me to remember that I have been on the ranting mood lately, which really doesn't happen that much, either. Or maybe it does and I only notice it when I'm PMSing. At this point, I am desperately hoping this is PMS. Help me, someone.)

    Oh yes, I was talking about the Constant. I was talking to a student about this once... he liked math, so I was trying to talk to him from a mathematical perspective... though all the world around us (including ourselves) are variables, God is our One True. He is the Constant. The one that stays the same.... the one that can be relied upon to remain the same, no matter what equation He is plugged in to. He is the creator of the equation, of the balance, of the safety net, of all the padded rooms in our brains...

    Anyhow. I should get going. I am remembering that I do love my students after all. Even "that one." Well, I might have to pray about that some more. But believe you me, I will. I will. Watch out, buddy...

    Sigh. Or maybe it's not a bad thing to want a hand once in a while...

    Thanksgiving Break is coming to save the day.........

Comments (4)

  • I read it anyways.  Sorry to hear you're going through such a tough time; in all seriousness, if you don't like PMSing, you can eliminate periods via OCPs, but that's merely a medical suggestion.

  • @WasaiWarrior - yeah, I suppose. I'm hesitant to take any "unnecessary" medication, which I probably wouldn't take on a regular basis, anyway.  My sister, who took those, ended up getting WORSE in that department.  Prob the wrong match...  thanks for your concern, though...  I'm just going to ride this one through.  

  • hehehehehe! i hope you don't mind me laughing at you. :) i LOVE it when you write posts like this one. they are the most entertaining. and you are right: thanksgiving break is on its way to save you! :)

  • Jen...I must admit this post was quite humorous, but I remember those few days of teaching before break and how I would sometimes count down the classes that I had to teach.  :)   I hope you have a relaxing, stress-free Thanksgiving break!  You deserve it!

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