November 16, 2009

  • Tears Are...

    ...weakness.

    Before I continue, I'd like to thank you guys for respecting my request not to read the previous message. (If I really meant it, I would have made it private, which some entries are.) Except Steph, who chose to laugh at me in my moment of need. Special thanks to you, girl. Don't forget to step on me on your way out.

    For some reason, I don't like crying. I feel out of control, and it's just... messy. I especially don't like when I get so emotional I can't talk. That is frustrating, as you might imagine. Good thing, the situations in which I am thus compromised are very few.

    But there is a couple. One of them, in particular. This person has never failed to bring me to tears. In fact, I have even openly cried in front of him, the whole gasp, cry, and choke-out-my-words thing. Once. Because as much as I wanted to wait, I HAD to tell him something, and it had to be right then and there. AND tonight, I did it in public. For him. I am astounded, and (albeit morbidly) interested.

    But tonight, even with my embarrassingly public display of weakness, I am encouraged, as I always am when I come in contact with this man. I am inspired, and I am moved to press forward. The vision that comes in the wake of this person is enough to boost me up. God has done a lot through him, and I suppose I am moved that much more deeply because I know that God has used him to do a lot through me. It is so real, and so powerful, and I am so blessed to be such a front-row-seat witness to a miracle like that. It is rare that one brushes past someone who is changing the world, and even rarer that he has put your own hands to the same plow. I am honored.

    See? I am getting emotional just thinking about this. The story deepens, but that's all for tonight. Vision restored. All is well. Uterus still up for sale.