November 18, 2009

  • Like a Flood

    If I had known how difficult life would be at a Christian Boarding Academy, I might not have jumped in so readily.

    I probably still would've jumped in (wholeheartedly!) but maybe not so readily.

    I have a headache. And a heartache. And a bodyache. And a... I don't know. I feel like there is a cloud hanging over me, and it's hard to shake it off. I walked back from staff meeting tonight (9:30pm) and I was choking back some emotion. This time, I'm not going to blame it on PMS.

    These kids get to me. All kids that I work with get to me.

    Before I go further, please join me in prayer for a friend whose child is in surgery and might have... a few complications. Children who are sick devastate me.

    Got a call today from a parent whose child has epilepsy... was a great learner until the fourth grade when she started having grand mal seizures. I want to be able to help. Need wisdom as to whether we can add her to the load.

    Students are calling me and finding me for academic, spiritual, and emotional help. More than ever. Their worries, concerns, and burdens startle me. They struggle with so much and I love them so much.

    Had to expel 3 students from school recently. It's torturous not knowing their future outside of our care. It is never easy.

    Found out that a really respected co-worker has MS. She found out today. Monday is the one year anniversary of her daughter's death. She was in her mid 20's.

    Staff member's parent has melanoma.

    Another staff member is going to have chemo. Hair falling out scheduled in a week or so.

    And here I am, feeling sorry for myself for being tired and overworked. It breaks me.

    I am so tired of this world... it's spiraling downhill, and I am so desperate for Christ to come and give us peace and hope. Tonight, as I walked back, and smelled the promise of rain, I realized that our hope really can lie in nothing less. We can't afford anything less than divinity...

    I also realized that I can wallow in my discouragement or I could rise up and meet the host of angels ready at our aid... but that is so difficult sometimes. But I choose A. I choose...

Comments (3)

  • Gasp! So much sadness... but so glad to see you cling to Jesus:)  I know that your words to these students are seasoned with grace... but in an effort to not get burnt out, I like to remind the youngies to "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you"..., and to encourage them to remember Psalms 1. <--- your dad was the inspiration. hehe :) Penguin hugs:) 

  • Praying for God's grace according to the need of your moment...

  • Kyrie eleison
    Christe eleison
    Kyrie eleison.

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