December 10, 2009

• Peter and Tucker

  Man, am I tired today. Exhausted, actually. Bankrupt, done in, drained, fatigued, frazzle, petered and tuckered out (who are these boys, anyway?), and just plain weary. By 4pm I wanted to be in bed. Sleeping, that is, not just curled up with the covers up. The day wasn't bad at all... I was just... tired.

  Plenty of sleep. (OK, so I skipped breakfast. And ok, lunch too... but that couldn't be the problem, right?) I have this painful sore in the inside of my lip. I'm deathly afraid I'm going to bite it because I know it'll be agonizing. This makes me talk with a slight lithp. I have been snapping at my kids. And apologizing afterwards.

  I found a letter from my old principal addressing the school. It made me miss him terribly. Not that this one is any that bad, but not half as supportive... I feel like the wind has gradually ebbed away from under my wings and I'm just flapping as hard as I can. This, as you might imagine, is quite tiring.

  It's been cold here. Freezing, actually. I don't remember it being this cold. I don't remember it getting this dark this early, either, so my memory's a little batty. Either that, or I'm just Eeyore enough to notice it all this year. Or the sun is really going down earlier than it did last year and there's a great conspiracy by the weathermen, newscasters, and general public even, to cover that up.

  I can't believe it's December. In a few weeks, it'll be one decade into this century. I'm still getting over the whole fact that it was the year 2000 and my parents were hoarding canned foods and drums of water. Is this really happening?

  Time is truly flying. I sometimes tell my students (partially just to mess with them) that there is no such thing as "living in the present." The present is so fleeting, that what you deem "now" is already a few seconds in the past as soon as it's registered in the brain. So really, there is a past, a future, and a negligible present. (Or maybe a "now" plus or minus 5 minutes--I call it the 'now' cushion.)

  Yes, I'm a teacher. They let me tell this to my kids. I know. I know.

  I'm thinking of extending my fast all the way through to winter break. (Actually, I can't, since i told the girls--yes, they're coming over again. I'm trying not to panic as much as I did last time--that I'd show them a movie. Not Veggie Tales. Something PG?) But I can make a one-day exception, right? Right.

  Anyway... I just felt like blathering tonight. I'm feeling a little sick. It's not even 8 yet, but I think I might go to sleep.

  But first, the book of Joshua. I've got some digging to do.

  • 7:33 pm
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