April 24, 2010

• Staycation

  I've created a new site over at wordpress, and it's actually ready to go. I'm still a little torn about this; I like Xanga. But nonetheless, I think Xanga can do better than blogspot, which I think also uses them stupid headers (don't know if that translates to purchased domains. I also hear there's been an ongoing exodus from blogspot.) My last entry was a rant about this, and I won't rehash. But if you can, click here and vote yes. I will love you for it. Really! (Friends who already left xanga, you do remember your sign-ins, right?) hehe. And if you've voted already, thanks. From the bottom of my heart. (I mean it; I'm very emotional right now. It's rare, so please take it as a treasure--that's how I'm giving it.)

  I took a staycation this break. It's our last break before heading into May Madness... that's my term for it because it is truly madness. Junior/Senior Banquet (that is the best equivalent to the "prom" I guess) which I'm co-sponsor for. Senior Finals (they get theirs earlier). Rest-of-the-school finals. Talent-show-esque showcase. Graduation prep and set up. Three day ordeal that is our graduation (don't ask). Graduates' parent lunch set up and host (as Junior class co-sponsor). Graduation tear-down and clean up. My seniors leave me (ok, not for good most of the time, but it's still heartbreaking). And then post session (one week or so of largely inefficient meetings.) I actually like meetings, but not if they're 5 hours long talking about inefficient things inefficiently and I don't have a say in anything. I hate those.

  Each one of those is just knee-bendingly agonizing. And then throw in the normal routines of teaching, prepping, supervising (weekend and weekday) and dealing with personal life issues, and you've got recipe for an asylum application. I don't know of any reason I can do this other than the fact that I love these kids.

  I probably should've gone to NY or MA. Feeling like I'm on break is just as good as being on break, and I didn't feel like I was on break. Sure, I got a whole lot of things done: laundry (4 loads?), groceries (badly needed), lunch w friends (that was nice), writing some more, creating new blogs... sleeping. Ah! Sleep was nice.

  It has just started to downpour. I am glad to be home.

  I also saw "End of the Spear" which is a movie I've been wanting to see for a while. I did not expect to be so touched. The gospel is a beautiful one, and it made me love it all the more. Lately, I've been thinking about what it means to love God, and someday I will share... but truly, greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. I wept through parts of it, but again, this is an emotional week (I'll let your surmise why.)

  Ultimately, God is larger than my needs, larger than this little town in which I've decided to staycate, larger than my own insecurities, and the failures of society. His laws are everlasting, and His calling eternal. It is the narrow gate, and often as I try to push the treasures laden in my outstretched arms through it, I realize something has to give. And I know it will all be worth it, but something has to give.

  < edit > I guess, then, that there are bigger fish to fry than that annoying top toolbar which just gets in the way. Sigh.

  • 10:29 pm
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