November 2, 2011
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TH Diaries: Jesus Cares
I was singing the hymn, Jesus Cares. You know, the one that goes, We have heard the joyful sound: Jesus cares, Jesus cares! Spread the tidings all around: Jesus cares, Jesus cares. Bear the news to every land, climb the mountains, cross the waves; Onward! 'tis our Lord's command; Jesus cares, Jesus cares.
OK, except the words are really Jesus Saves, but I didn't realize that til right about the time I started writing out the lyrics.
So, back to the TH Diaries. It's been a while. I promise, the whole hymn thing is applicable. (If you're wondering what "TH" stands for, it's super top secret, so... you won't find it. Heh heh. Alls you need to know is that it's about me hitting the road. Literally.)
I started running again. Since yesterday. It's difficult to say no to perfect fall weather running. And I mean, perfect. Yesterday, on my quick run, I had one objective: enjoyment. I didn't care about the time, didn't care about the mileage, didn't care about the fact that I hadn't eaten... my body had been screaming for some time: Run me! And although that call is very confusing coming from someone like me, I obeyed. I think my body remembers the adrenaline rush and started to crave it. And also because there's a lot I needed to get off my chest.
There are some people who like to be occupied when they run. Music, conversation, thoughts. When I run, I just like to be. I like to breathe. I like to smile and talk to myself. I like to pretend I'm having conversations (today, Oksana ran with me! We had a good talk and some laughs.) I like to close my eyes and feel the wind through my ponytail and the air going through my lungs. I like the feel of the breeze. I like to let my thoughts just work themselves out or fly out behind me. I feel that if you're miserable, it's not worth it. (Sometimes it's the right kind of misery, though.)
It was a beautiful day. And even more beautiful were the hills. They're positively orange/red, and in the setting sun, they looked even more blazing. The air was cool... and quiet. Peaceful. I was so zoned out I didn't even hear my own footfalls. I closed my eyes and just let myself go. (This only works when there's a straight trail ahead.) I figured I'd stop when I couldn't go anymore.
I didn't need Oksana's griping. I didn't need food. A canteen of water and chia seeds worked out just fine. It was marvelous. I don't know how far I went in total, or how much time it took. It was fun. I want to go again.
Today was community service day at our school. It's a nice day apart. And I love doing community service. Nothing better to get things in perspective than when you're helping others. And once in a while, manual labor is awesome. I'll be achy tomorrow, but it'll be worth it. I was raking and weeding and chilling with my students and I realized that this was exactly what I needed. Blue skies, peace, and perspective. And now I'm home. Early. It feels good.
Tonight will be Bible Study, and people, and friends.
(Thought you'd never see that picture again, huh? Guess what! I thought I'd never be such a running snob that I'd notice that her posture is all wrong... She's setting herself up for injury...
Forefoot strike it, girlfriend!)There's a lot in life that I would like to get a handle on. Because this Christianity thing... what is it if it's not lived out? If I can't take this overabundance of love I've discovered in my heart and let it work through me and change me? If I won't take hold of the promises of this Man that I've committed to follow? What is my life if I do not live what I believe? Don't I believe? Yes, yes I do.
And yes, all this while raking. I'm telling you, it's good stuff.
If I could be as lucid as I am now than when the sun isn't shining, and the sky isn't blue, and the weather isn't perfect...
But if my life attests to anything, it's that Jesus cares. About me.
It still breaks me inside to think about why, and what He had to do to reach me. To change me into someone who I actually don't mind being alone with. Someone who has peace. I never thought I'd have it. And that He cares enough to keep teaching me new things and calling me higher. Anger and meanness had abounded, but Grace has abounded and continues to abound.
And to my dying breath, I will hold to the knowledge that God does indeed move the world for people. It is as though for just a little bit, you are the axis. The center of it all. The apple of God's tender eye. And in the knowledge of those moments, I found Him. And I will never, ever give Him up.
Update: Another good run. Tired from the exertion already put in. I must've had a lot to mull over because at one point, I was talking out loud. Shouting, actually. Weird. Luckily, no one was around. But I think I came to a good decision: I'm going to get some froyo. By myself. Yum.
TH Archives:
Day One
Day Two
Continuing Saga
Week Four
Race for the Run
