Taking a break for a little bit.  Xanga is getting strange, and there are strangers here I'm not sure I know what to do with.

School has begun and my hours have become long.  I love these kids so much, and it's a pleasure and honor to work with them.  I fear I won't have much time to write...  but who knows?  Most of the time my entries aren't premeditated.  Not for too long, anyway.  I'm focusing on what's important right now: staying alive.   

Much much,

 

Man, I had fun today.  I forgot how much I enjoyed this process.  Meeting new students, new parents, giving advice...  

I'm excited.  I got to use my class today for the writing samples I mentioned yesterday, and standing in front of the room (even informally) with students in it gave me this little tiny kick.  And I mean little tiny.  I could call it excitement and anticipation.  

But I'm exhausted.  And I will be until....  hm...  May?  =)  

I love my job.  I just got an email from a graduate.  He wants to have Bible Studies.  These incidents just blow me out of the water.  I'm amazed.  Humbled.  Confounded.  Really God?  Me?  You're using ME?!  To others, it might seem like an obvious choice.  But I?  I know better.  And so, I would expect, would He.  Once again, I can do nothing else but praise Him and thank Him.

God is good.  

 

Registration for new students begins tomorrow.  It's going to be a crazy time.  I've already scheduled myself for at least 10 appointments.  I'm having my student worker run some writing samples.  I found out that we accepted a student 'by accident.'  And it'll be the toughest on (guess who?) me.  

Honestly, it's been so nuts this past week that I've barely had time to sit down and process.  Granted, now that I'm going into my 4th year at this school, a lot of things have smoothed themselves out.  Teachermares stopped last year.  I got one this summer, but that seems like it'll be an anomaly.  I had a weird dream last night (actually, a bunch of them) and that might be the only indication of something irregular I'm going to get.  

But yeah, I'm nervous.  And a little anxious.  There'll be a lot of tough cases.  And I'm excited.  I'm excited to be challenged and I'm hoping this year, I'll work more, step up more, and really push myself more.  

It boggles my mind that I would try to do any small part of this outside of the help of God.  I mean, it'd be crazy.  It'd be suicide.  It'd be...  impossible.  

If you check the list of Things a Normal Teacher Needs to Do with the list of Things I (As a Christian Special Ed Teacher) Need to Do, it's nutso.  I mean, I can do nothing else but drop at the feet of Christ and ask for help.  

Because I don't want to mess up.  I want to do Him good.  I want to do the kids good. 

Tomorrow's the big day.  Planning on leaving the house at 7:30.  I am already sad that my days of sleeping in are over.  :)  But I'm excited.  I hope I can sleep well tonight.  

Amazing grace!  That helps us in our individual needs.  I am so struck by how personal God is.  He is not just this 'power' that keeps the planets in line.  He's not just there to regulate and rule.  He takes sides.  He helps.  He intervenes.  And His nature is love.  It covers us all.  

I'm so glad for that.  Not just today, but every day. 

 

I'm turning on friends lock for now.  There are some spammers that have really been on the attack tonight (from Korea!  I am so disappointed.)  For most of you, it shouldn't be a problem.  I'll be back on the public side soon.  =P   In the meantime, I do NOT want to know about Uggs or watches or whatever else.  Leave me alone!  This isn't what comments are for!

...and I'm back.  

Busy week!  Busy busy.  Story of my life.  I'm excited.  Lots to learn, lots to do, lots to have fun with.

 

Wow.  If this isn't a drought, I don't know what to call it.  (I don't mean the weather.)

It's nice to sleep in my own bed again.  I can't deny it.  As much as I love being with other people, and visiting those I love, there's nothing like my own space.  I wish this space was closer to theirs.  In a similar fashion, it's nice to settle back into my Xanga space.  I've been away for a while, off and on.  

This summer has been...  interesting.  God is teaching me some things, and many of those lessons aren't easy ones.  Well, they seem easy, but the field trips can be rough.  I feel as though this summer has been one long field trip interspersed by surprise field trips.

Did you know that race cars use some really high-grade, high-octane fuel?  That probably doesn't surprise you.  The grade we normally get at the pump ranges from 87 to 92.  The grade that racers use?  Around 120.  (No, my field trips did not include a trip to the track.)  

The reason these special cars use special fuel is that higher octane fuel burns slower, yields more power, and is better for the car*.  Cars that are used in this manner typically use "high performance" everything.  Oil, gas, lube...  because if anything fails while you're careening over 300mph around a turn, you're screwed.  It's funny, but it was only recently that I realized that the Indy 500's "500" meant "500 miles."  With the track being about 2.5 miles around, that's 200 laps.  Why anyone would want to watch a bunch of people go around in a circle [sic] 200 times is a different matter; one which happens to escape me completely. Go America.  Anyway, 200 times around a track is crazy.  This isn't short term stuff, if you know what I mean.  

So why all this talk about cars?  Really, the talk is about fuel.  Because in the end, we're not so different from a racecar (which also happens to be a palindrome: same backwards and forwards.)  I mean, Paul does liken this life to a race, doesn't he?  "Run like you want to win!" (1 Cor 9:24, paraphrased.)  I mean, even human racers (who use their bodies) know about fuel.  They ease down on refined sugar (or try to eliminate it completely), and sometimes even down wheat grass and all sorts of things that we don't typically think of making a part of our diet.  

We're integrated beings.  We're made of the physical, mental, ad spiritual.  Any one of these fail, they'll impact the other.

Further, each of these have their own parts; the intake, use, and output.  Physically, we have food/water, digestion, and expulsion.  Mentally, we have knowledge, understanding, and application.  Spiritually, it's not so different.  

What's your spiritual intake?

I want to upgrade to high grade spiritual stuff.  I understand now that 'spiritual stuff' isn't just about what book of the Bible I happen to be reading, or what devotional book is good for me at the moment.  Spiritual stuff includes things that impact my spiritual mind.  Entertainment, self-image, sensuality, conversation, etc. all fit into the developing of the spiritual mind.  I desperately crave the high grade stuff.  "Super" fuel at the pump.  You know what I mean?

Fill it with "super" please.  Who's with me?

 

*Although high octane fuel is good for racing, most cars in garages nowadays are made for regular fuel.  This is not an endorsement for filling your car tank with Super.  If you think that,  you've missed the point!  :)  Humans, on the other hand, are built to run on the highest grade God-fuel available to mankind.  Don't settle for less.  

(updated, with edits)

Below are the lyrics to a song I found.  I don't normally listen to a whole lot of CCM (contemporary Christian music) and I don't know how I found this song.  But I liked the words, and that's important to me...  A link to a youtube video of the song is below; it's pretty well done.

T Shirt (What We Should Be Known For)
Derek Webb

they'll know us by the t-shirts that we wear 
they'll know us by the way we point and stare 
at anyone whose sin looks worse than ours 
who cannot hide the scars of this curse that we all bare 

they’ll know us by our picket lines and signs 
they’ll know us by the pride we hide behind 
like anyone on earth is living right 
and isn’t that why Jesus died 
not to make us think we’re right 

chorus 
when love, love, love 
is what we should be known for 
love, love, love 
it’s the how and it’s the why 
we live and breathe and we die 

they’ll know us by reasons we divide 
and how we can’t seem to unify 
because we’ve gotta sing songs a certain style 
or we’ll walk right down that aisle 
and just leave ‘em all behind 

they’ll know us by the billboards that we make 
just turning God’s words to cheap clichés 
says “what part of murder don’t you understand?” 
but we hate our fellow man 
and point a finger at his grave 

chorus 

they'll know us by the t-shirts that we wear 
they'll know us by the way we point and stare 
telling ‘em their sins are worse than ours 
thinking we can hide our scars 
beneath these t-shirts that we wear

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53mhPoTO-Xk

T-shirts with Jesus logos, fish decals, and WWJD bracelets are all the rage (waxing and waning with time and fads.)  Is that what our show of Christianity has become?  A fad?  No wonder we have up-and-downs in our walk with Christ.  ""...You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean."  Matthew 23:27 (NIV)  True Christianity is not in outward show, especially not when it comes in t-shirts, in decals, and in pretty things we wear.  It's in humility of spirit.

Not to knock on these clever t-shirts that (arguably) can make a statement, but do we reflect on the inside what we wear on the outside?  Should we really have to plaster our Christianity on our bodies lest people don't recognize it otherwise?  Is this, as Derek Webb wrote, what people should know us by?  ("They're the people w the knockoff t-shirts."?)  Didn't Jesus already give us an idea of what people should know us by?  Is Jesus just another trophy? 

If someone read your blog, or caught sight of you on a random moment, what will they know about you?  How would you tell someone to recognize you by what you're doing on any given day?  How do you want to be known?  Is it different from what you portray?

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."  Col 3:12, 13

 

I can't sleep.   I feel like I'm in one of those too-cold, too-warm, too-antsy stages that can mean that I'm too tired to know the difference between wakefulness and exhaustion.  

I had my first teachermare of the summer.  I didn't have one last summer.  They used to be a trend.  They're back.  I'm kind of comforted, because they're the same routine I'm used to: there's a crazy, out-of-control situation looming, and me, just chilling, and taking it in stride.  The thought that I can handle it is always in my mind.  

Except this time, nothing I was doing was working.  The chalk I was using (I have a whiteboard, so I don't know why I would suddenly have a chalkboard) wasn't working.  It was pink, or orange, or yellow, or whatever color my board was morphing in to, and I couldn't get the writing to show.  There were too many students, and there were no desks.  (Literally; the Vice Principal apparently folded them all up the previous day while she was using my room.  Yes, they were folding desks.)  The kids were not the right age (definitely younger than High School!)  But I still wasn't really freaking out.  I can handle this.  Except the whole having-trouble-opening-my-eyes thing.  That happens a lot in my dreams.  I think if I can harness this, I can start lucid dreaming which would be awesome.  But I don't think I'm that desperate for lucid dreaming.  I like my sleep just fine.  

You think I'm anxious about going back to school?  Maybe.  

Anxiety is a strange thing.  I think for someone who's chill about just about everything, I tend towards a lot of anxiety.  I am anxious of whether or not I'll be on time (I make exceptions for situations that require late shows.)  I am anxious about doing a good job (up to personal standards, as well as the standards of those who matter.)  I am anxious about the unknown, the great vastness of the future...  (ok, mainly when I'm on someone else's agenda.  I hate surprises.)  I'm anxious when going to new places (and I don't know how long it'll take to get there; mostly because of the being on time thing, which I'm pretty sure can be a diagnosable disorder at the rate I'm obsessive over it.)  And then I am also altogether laid back.  Because it all works out, whether or not it works out the way you want it to.  I've learned to roll with the punches, and punches they are.  Sometimes.

Sometimes I think we have these odd ideas about Jesus.  Sometimes I think these odd ideas have some truth in them, because they're fashioned from our personal experiences, and these human experiences are...  well, just that: human.  We are made in the image of God, and thus, maybe our experiences are for a reason.  God knew what He was doing, right?  But sometimes these ideas need to be corrected.  (Who needs transitions?  I'm tired, remember?)

Like sometimes I think God is like a whiny boyfriend.  (He certainly is not.)  I think that whenever I haven't spent a lot of time with Him, suddenly He is pouty, and asking me why I don't call anymore, or why I don't write, or spend time, or seem "distant."  I don't actually think this, but I know I act like it.  I guilt like it.  

God is not a whiny boyfriend.  

What He is is a "jealous God"  (Ex 20, somewhere.)  Not jealous as in whiny.  Jealous as in desiring all of us.  The difference is our response...  God is not whiny in that He is not waiting around...  He put in all His chips already.  He has given everything.  In His might, He has conquered all.  That whiny voice is our own.  Our own insistence in hiding while the voice of God calls.  The whiny, "why do you keep calling me?" and, "what do you want this time?"  The whine that comes from a person so pursued and yet so reluctant to put in all the chips as well.  

No, God is not a whiny boyfriend.  This is not a mutual relationship in a sense that God needs pleasing.  

He owns the cattle on a thousand hills.  He owns the devotion of thousands upon thousands of millions of angels.  He does not whine if you don't call.  He waits.  Calm and steady, eternal and consistent, everlasting and steadfast...  He has not changed, even while the moods of the world and of ourselves have shifted like eversomany pieces of sand on a desert wracked by the wind. 

Lately, quite a number of my students have been calling/writing/texting to let me know that they are making commitments to become closer to God.  I am blown away.  God is good.  I'm learning a lot this summer...  about me, and about what I want.  

Right now, though, I want to sleep. 

Is there a concept of God that you act like you have that you want to correct?

 

 (Episode 5)

It's Thursday again, and it's time for Three on Thursday. If you're confused about the picture of the Count, click on the previous link. 

 So it's been that I've been posting stuff on things I think people should know.  (If you include the last post on High Fructose Corn Syrup.) So for the Three on Thursday for today, I have ten.  I know, I know.  It's a big leap.  But I think the fact that it's in pictures makes up for it.  Unless you're one of those who think that a picture is worth a thousand words.  In that case, brace yourselves. Or just enjoy.  

The image below was taken from http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling.  If you like it, go and buy the poster! Thanks to all those who care enough to draw about grammar.  

Do you have a grammar rule you want to add?  Do you hate (bad) grammar?  Or am I the only one?  

I'm sure by now you've seen the commercials.  Two people are are conversing about HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup) and one of them says something like, "Oh, that's not good," and the other one says, "Why not?  It's made from corn.  Duh."  And makes the other one looks like a complete idiot.  

Well, my friends, don't be fooled.  

First of all, HFCS is not natural.  Just because it has the word "corn" in it doesn't mean it's natural.  They get away with using that term because the FDA is being technical.  Maybe they saw the commercials.  It's stupid.  If you take something natural, and do something to it to change it into a different form altogether, it's not natural anymore, is it?¹  

Recently, Princton U did a study on this whole "HFCS is not a big deal" campaign. Their findings?  Quote: "Rats with access to high-fructose corn syrup gained significantly more weight than those with access to table sugar, even when their overall caloric intake was the same."²  In other words, the myth that HFCS is the same as sugar...  busted.  You will gain more weight with HFCS. 

"When rats are drinking high-fructose corn syrup at levels well below those in soda pop, they're becoming obese -- every single one, across the board. Even when rats are fed a high-fat diet, you don't see this; they don't all gain extra weight."³

So next time you see that commercial, you can shout a tip to the victim on screen: "Actually, Princeton University researchers have found that HFCS makes you obese in ways that regular sugar won't."  

And the moderation part?  OK.  But take a look around to see how much of this is in the food you eat.  It's quite a bit.  And that argument can be used for just about anything.  Poop, eaten in moderation....  ugh, nevermind.

I won't go into the other controversial issues about whether or not HFCS really does impact levels of insulin, leptin, and other essential hormones (all essential for weight moderation.)  Remember, though, that most of the "controversial studies" are supported by the soft drink industry.  If you've seen Thank You For Smoking⁴, you know what I mean.  

Pass the sugar, please.⁶  (No, I didn't skip a number.  See below.)

PS. I am very proud of my end notes.  Please read the article!  

 

[1] http://pubcit.typepad.com/clpblog/2007/01/cspis_litigatio.html: "It may sound as though HFCS comes from corn in the same way sugar comes from sugar cane or sugar beets.  Not so.  HFCS is created by a complex industrial process performed in refineries using centrifuges, hydroclones, ion-exchange columns, backed-bed reactors, and other high-tech equipment. Starch is extracted from corn and then converted by acids or enzymes to glucose. Then, some of the glucose is further converted by enzymes into fructose... The fact that chemical bonds are broken and rearranged in their production disqualifies them from being called “natural.”"  

[2] http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S26/91/22K07/ (posted March 2010, retrieved July 14, 2010).  This quote can be found in the first ppg. 

[3] ibid.  This is a quote from Prof Bart Hobel, who specializes in the neuroscience of appetite, weight, and sugar addiction. (Found in the end of the third ppg.)

[4] This is a gratuitous endnote to explain the premise of this movie. Nick Nalor, the protagonist, is the VP of a company called "The Academy of Tobacco Studies."  He lobbies on behalf of tobacco, and cites studies funded by tobacco companies that claim that there is no link between nicotine and lung cancer.  Very cool movie.  In the end, everyone dies.⁵   

[5] Just kidding.  Yeah, that was a citation within a citation!  Who's overseeing this, anyway?  The movie had been rated R for a good reason.  Lately, I feel like rated R movies are really pushing it.  I wish it hadn't, since it's something I would've liked to show my students. 

[6] But remember that it's not just HFCS...  it's most refined sugars (including aspartame!), and yes, sugar in general should be consumed 'in moderation.'  

 (Episode 4)

It's Thursday again, and it's time for Three on Thursday.  Reminder: don't be fooled because the Count is holding up one finger.  He's merely making a point while preparing to hold up his other hand, which, as you can see, is about to display (all) three digits.

 

Today's three is about Gross Things.  I don't know why I'm thinking about it, but there's been some gross things I've eaten. 

Here are my threes:

1. Coagulated Pig Blood.  I ate this while I was in college at this dim sum place.  Currently, I'm a vegetarian, so... so much for that.  But back in college, man.  I ate everything  But it was still gross.  I saw Anthony Bordain eat it on his show, No Reservations, and I still thought it looked gross, even though he seemed to enjoy it plenty.  

2. A Beating Frog Heart.  OK, so I never ate this, and I never will.  But I saw Andrew Zimmern (I'm a Food Network junkie, except I cut off my cable at home and I don't have it anymore) eat it with a chopstick.  I remember thinking something like, "Dude, PETA is probably in death throes over this guy..."  Whoever makes up something gross will have to beat this one.  Andrew Zimmern's eaten everything from a cow brain to some random animal nut sack, so there's a high standard for gross foods you haven't personally eaten.  

3. Some Fuzzy Thing at Legal Seafoods.  This probably isn't the grossest food ever, but I can't remember anything grosser.  I ate it with my sister, and the only thing I can say it tasted like was a dust bunny.  You know, those things you find behind the legs of your couch.  Gather enough of those, and some dryer lint, roll it up, and voila!  You've got this appetizer.  We weren't appetized. 

I do know of someone who ate tough meat that someone spit out and put back on the plate.  GROSS.  (I guess that was four.  See how you can cheat?)

What's the grossest thing you've eaten/seen eaten?  Winner gets a lousy thumbs up.