May 25, 2008

  • Enough

    Commencement today.  I am happy for these guys.  I'm remembering my own High School commencement: the happiest moment of my life (at that point in my history.)  I didn't expect to feel as reflective as I did...  perhaps its because of my shifting hormones.  Sigh.  The shackles of the female body.

    I'm truly happy that these kids are going out into the world...  ready to experience new things, make new decisions, reach new heights...  a small part of me, however, wishes for more time, particularly for some specific students, including one that made a decision for baptism and stepped down into a stream to rise up into the newness of Christ...  I wish I had more time...  I wish I had done more... 

    Enough.  That word often plagues me.  There are times when I am satisfied and ready to let go.  There are other times when I am helpless and hopeless, knowing that although I have done my part...  I have not done enough. 

    There is a scene from Schindler's List that resounds in my heart.  It is the concluding scene during which he is anguishing that he has not done enough...  this man who had saved thousands of Jews from death...  weeping because he knew he could have done more...  "I could have got more...  I didn't do enough..." 

    I wept when I saw this scene.  I had to remove myself from the room to save my dignity, even as a teenager, when I first saw the movie. 

    But I am reminded that salvation, success, and merit does not lie in private assessments...  Click here for a post on this thought...  I understand that my place is the same place as these kids: one in which I am called to seek God first.  All these things...  the desires of my heart, the aspirations of my soul, the dreamings of my mind...  they will follow. 

    So here I go.  Done looking back and ready to step forward again. 

    Congratulations, class of 2008.  As God has allowed me to make my own decisions, so shall He do for you.  As God has protected, guided, and saved me, may you find that joy in Him as I did. 

    Here's to a big, wide, God-filled world.